I see the way the human nature (for most people) transition over time in 3 big steps, from single to married life to having extended little minions in the family members.
As I am close to the end of having our own personal honeymoon world in these past 9 months of marriage, I would like to share on the difference between leading a single to married life before moving on to having little Bs bugging for daddy 🙂
Savings
Savings percentage is probably one of the major difference financially between leading a single or married life.
When I was single (until 9 months ago), I used to save home a huge percentages of my active income every month. If you see some of the expenses posts I’ve made in the past years, my savings rate usually goes as high as 80% to 90% each month. I rarely spent on anything major for myself except a couple of good food here and there, but my passive income usually takes care for it.
As expenses start to go up in my married life together with my spouse, savings rate naturally goes the opposite way. Based on the expenses we recorded in the past 9 months, I am still proud to say that we’ve kept the discipline and momentum going. My savings rate are these days down to about 50% but that is still a respectable figure after seeing articles of so many people who is earning so much but yet save so little.
Power-Play
Power play often plays a big part in a couple’s marriage. This concept means that if one is earning more than the other, then he or she should contribute to the expenses ans savings more than the other.
For us, we like to keep it simple and not being too calculative about money. As long as both of us keep our expenses well in check and be honest with one another, I do not mind contributing to the expenses.
I usually allow for my wife’s money that she earned to be spent on her desire consumer goods. So if she wants to buy groceries, we can use our money but if she wants a $5k bag, then she needs to earn that money first herself.
Common Goal
You can probably see that our two person’s honeymoon world is not the longest in the world. 9 months is all we have and boom our little baby is here.
For this to happen, I often talked to her about budgeting the right amount if we are going to have kids in the future. The cost of living and raising kids in Singapore are probably not the cheapest and I think to be cautious we will probably need $700k to raise for one single child until graduation. If we want 3 children, then we multiply that figure by 3, which is getting ready for the future expenses that we are going to incur. It’s think before action, just what everyone needs.
How is married life for you? Does discipline between couples matters the most?
Hi B,
It's going to be an exciting journey ahead for you with your little one coming along. Savings will definitely drop with household expenses incurred with starting a family. It's already very good that you can still save 50% of your income.
Having a child is expensive definitely but its all about sacrifice. I think most parents who went through that will say that no point worrying about expenses as it's very hard to predict the expenses for a child. When you need more money this month, maybe cut down on other luxuries which you might not need. In any case, most of us will still live through life unless we're really poor. Live simple and life could be more happier.
Hi SGYI
I believe I have made into another phase of my life, whether correctly done or not I will not know for now. But I hope all preparations I've done so far will be enough such that any surprises will be limited.
In any case, like you said, we live through thick and thin, shine or rain. We'll get stronger in life no matter what happens 😀
You are very wise with regard to money for someone of your age. You mentioned that you were able to save up to 90% while you were single. I guess you were probably living with your parents back then. Now that you are starting a family, your expenses will increase especially if you live on your own. At the same time, a happy family cannot be measured with money. Congratulations to a little one coming your way.
Renewed investor
Hi B,
The first 10 months when the baby is born is very stressful. This is due to several factors, physically u get very little sleep, esp if your wife want to breast feed, then both of u will sleep little.
There is no time for leisure, and u lose your freedom. Money expenses is also one stress but given how well prepared are in this area, it should not be a problem.
Be patient and supportive of each other as temper will flare.but it is definitely worth it. The pain during transistion is short but satisfaction and joy long lasting
during the 9 months of pregnancy and one year of baby, i barely had enough time to sleep, let alone invest. =)
Okay lah. I did three times. LOL!
Take cat nap whenever is possible.